Thursday, October 30, 2008

Wrong Sower

The sower plant the seeds of
Love but reaps a harvest of Hurts
Joy but reaps a harvest of Despair
Peace but reaps a harvest of Division
Patience but reaps a harvest of Impatience
Kindness but reaps a harvest of Cruelty
Goodness but reaps a harvest of Notoriety
Faithfulness but reaps a harvest of Suffering
Gentleness but reaps a harvest of Pride
Self-control but reaps a harvest of Passion
Friendship but reaps a harvest of Betrayal
Freedom but reaps a harvest of Chains
Forgiveness but reaps a harvest of Hatred
Hope but reaps a harvest of Anxiety
Prayer but reaps a harvest of Restlessness
All these ends with why's and more whys..
they maybe more if you can name them
However, I'm not suicidal yet, because God relief me of these why..It's bcoz :

Monday, October 13, 2008

Errr..

Warning : Dont eat while reading this...

Can die ar.. P/A ( do carta pie.. ai ya..din bring graph..so, ok la sleep only la..haha)

Say want sleep only.. i feel
hot..hotter..burning..so 1 hour still past like 1 hour..after P/A is WBS.. so i copy other peoples table as teacher called me to.. then the beautiful girl in front of me look at me, then i ambil kesempatan la
" Can touch my forehead, see is it hot or very hot ?"
"Wah, very hot."
"Very hot?"
"Ya" ( In my blurness that time..this is only what i did..shud have also call her to hold my hand see hot onot..or follow The Sheep example..it goes this way:"Even if anything happen to me ar, i want to tell you"I Love You ya"

With prayer, i reach home safely (consider i have to go uphill)..eat panadols..change shirt..sleep ( haven't even bath and eat lunch).. 2: 30pm.. i wake up and thought i can fly..go eat lunch..and whack everything.
T_T (this is one of the worst decision of my life).. after that..tire..sleep again..

7pm..whoaa.. it's the real thing starting.. Stomach something wrong already.. then it's
dark-brown semi-solid..
At night, i went toilet for don-know-how-many times..what color i do not know..but it's not semi-solid nor solid..most terrrifiying..
liquid only...i think is around 4~5 times into the toilet

Next morning, continue to go toilet.. worse, at closer interval.. and i realized my body just reject every intake, every cup of water i drink, promises a nose-torturing-session in next
10 minutes.. the smell ar, worse than ammonia, and b'coz only liquid comes out, so it's very volatile..can die 1.. Food is the same..it just melt in my body and become liquid very fast (amazing?)

The ODJ about sleep is quite true. When you are in sleep-defiency, you are actually :

  1. drowsy and sleepy (duh?)
  2. cranky and irritable (ask your friend, and see)
  3. eat more than usual
I think i do not have enough sleep, so body system also upside down..As i continue my toilet break.. I dont have strength to do homework, so i read Bible, while praying that i can go church tomorrow.. This night, i did not have to go toilet..Yay !

After church, toilet breaks continue.. hits 15 times already.. I eat very little as a result..
I did not do homework also.. read Bible.. pleading Him..
The night was a nightmare too.. 5 times.. the worst one is.. thought just finish, then stand up and flush, only to realize have to sit down again.. that night cant sleep, feel like a pregnant woman..my stomach..quite empty ma, so only gases inside..those gas move around inside, just like a baby inside (sweat!) paaain ar..

Next morning, my father ask me :" You sure want go school ar?" (i have to ride my bike too)
"Can la, i 'll miss out a lot if i skip."
I've realize and learn something out of all these trouble..
  1. Be thankful when you can fart and sh*t, and thankful still when you can have semi-solid sh*t, you can cry when you only can sh*t (or suppose is piss from the butt?), you are so dehydrated that the next day you only pee 100ml after drinking 2 liter of water
  2. Marry is a must for me..coz i need people to take care me when i'm sick
Off i leave my house for home, humming:
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, All fears is gone
And I know, He holds the Future
And Life
is worth a living just because He lives

Friday, October 3, 2008

Grace-d

If no one tell the story, others may not know...

I was lost of words when Cacing said i was lucky over the fall (fell) in Batu Berangkai...No one knows the story, except that i speak of it plainly to my 'brothers'. So, i think i MUST tell you..

Batu Berangkai... a waterfall full of batu...and also cold water.. After some serious time with our 360 lites, we play and have fun lo.. Koko Bert also appointed 2 mEcho fellow to jaga evrybody and save the beauty in case.. lol :P

We started with a slide, most of the people tried, and it was fun.. Then we move over to a swing (a strong rope attached around a strong branch, and of coz played by strong man...(wahaha..so lame) How to play it? Grab it tight from a high place and swing down, drop down at it maximum amplitude lo ( a typical pendulum).. As i stated earlier..batu-batu..there's a lot there.. must drop only when it is maximum swing.. or else the reward is..erm..length 6 feet plus.. height 2 feet....you know what i mean?

Nothing special but fun! Then it's my turn! I grab it, and swing..
Nearing the middle, my hand feel numb.. (everything happened so fast)
Next thing i know, i drop

I can imagine koko Bert and koko Austin jaw-drop and eye-pop-out..


Meanwhile someone hold me.. hold me

And the result is splassshhh, not plaaakkk or peaakkk.. no pain
I fell (or maybe is placed) between 2 super big rocks.. mere coincidence?

"Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling..
And you tell me who i am..
I am yours"

I know is Him, i've heard His voice thru out de JS programme, then he cathes me, and i have no doubt i am his child.. I have tasted His Grace..Amazing Grace
( ya, you shud be saying halleluyah now, and also tell His story in your life)